FIC: The Promised Land (Team Daddycest)
Dec. 14th, 2012 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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srs2012_r1Summary: Dean Winchester hunts the supernatural with his family of "Vampire" Vampire Hunters. For a century, he's mourned the loss of his dad and kept his feelings for him a secret. But when a leviathan lets slip some information about John's whereabouts, Dean's not sure how to feel.
Word Count: 3994
Characters: Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Benny, Jessica Moore, Mary Winchester, Dick Roman, Ruby
Pairings: John/Dean, Sam/Jess, Benny/Cas
Tags: NSFW, Incest, Graphic Violence, Sexual Content, Character Death (only minor characters)
“Mister I ain’t a boy, no I’m a man
And I believe in a promised land”
-Bruce Springsteen
“What the hell was that, Dean?”
Sam juts his elbow under Dean’s chin, pinning him against the wall. Dean’s arms hang limply at his sides as he stares blankly past his brother. His head is buzzing and his own voice sounds foreign as he stutters out an answer. “It’s nothing, Sammy.”
“Nothing?” Sam laughs in disbelief, and Dean can see movement and concerned eyes peering down at him, but everything is blurred around the edges and there’s gunk running down his chin. He feels like he’s going to be sick. “Really, Dean? You tore that Leviathan apart like an animal. You went full-on monster just now.”
Sam lets up the pressure on his throat and shoves up Dean’s lip, pulling the second set of teeth down and then curling his fingers into his mouth. Dean coughs and tries to tongue the digits out.
“You didn’t swallow any, did you?” Sam sounds frantic enough that guilt floods through him, hot and unpleasant. “God, Dean. Who knows what ingesting that goo will do to you…”
“I didn’t swallow anything, Sam,” he mumbles, trying to pull away.
“Fine.” Sam yanks his fingers out and glares at him. “But that was stupid. And reckless. I thought after a century you’d learn to be a little smarter, that’s all.”
Dean flashes a grin and shoots out his fangs. He gently taps each one. “Sorry, but you know how it goes, Sammy. A leopard can’t change its spots. A vampire can’t change it’s—”
“Okay, enough.” He can tell Sam’s fighting the urge to smile. “But if you pull anything like that again, jerk, I’ll let Mom have a piece of you, understand?”
He fakes a shudder but then snakes a hand into Sam’s floppy hair. Sam palms Dean’s cheek and he’s sure the fear shining in his brother’s eyes mirrors his own. Are we okay? They ask wordlessly, and they are, they always are. So Dean lets him go and reaches down for his backpack and bleach. They start back for the car, leaping over congealed black puddles.
“You know, Dean,” Sam says tentatively when they’re thirty miles down the road, “I don’t know what that leviathan said to you—but if you need to talk about it…”
Dean shakes his head firmly, his knuckles going white on the steering wheel. “The last thing I need to do is talk about it. Drop it, okay?”
Sam’s eyes burn holes into him, but he says nothing, and Dean is thankful for small mercies. After a while, his brother reaches for the radio, and Dean breathes a little easier.
___
When they pull up the driveway, Sam’s snoring softly against the window, and Dean lets himself study his family’s home for a few moments. In the darkness, it glows an eerie blue. Purple irises curl up underneath the windows, twisted and wind-whipped. As if this could have ever lasted.
Sighing, he pokes at Sam. “We’re here, man.” His brother blinks up at him through his ridiculously long hair and arches his back with a grunt. Dean climbs out of the car and limps up to the porch, where his mom is already waiting.
“Are you okay, honey?” She hugs him tightly, and he lets his muscles loosen as he slumps against her.
“I’m fine,” he says wearily, even though he knows she won’t believe him. He pulls back and lets the exhaustion show on his black-smudged features. “Just need some rest.”
She frowns and cups his chin. He lets himself drink in her bright eyes as comfort seeps into his bones. Sighing, she lets him pass. “Go get some sleep, Dean.”
Jess dashes past him with a brief hello, and he can hear her running across the yard and flying into Sam’s arms. “How did your hunt go?” Sam asks her.
“It was fine– your mom and I decapitated two leviathans, nothing big.” Her voice lowers. “What’s wrong with Dean?”
He hurries back to his room before he can hear Sam’s reply. Collapsing on the edge of his bed, he cradles his head in his hands and studies himself in the mounted mirror. A week’s worth of facial hair, strong jaw, the slope of his nose and shape of his mouth. He knows how much he looks like his father. It’s still unnerving, even after all these years, and he tears his gaze away.
Dean goes straight for his dresser, tugging open the bottom drawer and fumbling for the photo album tucked beneath his jeans. He slumps into his bed and cracks open the cover.
John Winchester smiles up at him and Dean’s heart clenches. What he feels for his father isn’t normal, but it’s only gotten stronger through the years without him. Before his death, they’d danced around each other, the tension unbearable. When John had died, he’d almost felt relief that he didn’t have to face his feelings. How wrong and naïve he’d been.
Shakily, he traces his fingers over the yellowed photograph and tries to remember. But the picture’s details are too grainy, thanks to the ancient camera. It kills him that he can’t even remember the color of Dad’s eyes.
If what the leviathan said was true… Dean closes the book angrily and shoves it under his bed. He can’t do this right now.
From the living room, he can hear Sam’s raised voice. “Are you not listening, Mom? Dean and I just learned where to find Dick Roman. We need to strike now. Let’s call Cas.”
Dean curls up under his mountain of quilts and covers his ears. His knees dig into his chest as he trembles in the dark. It takes him a long time to fall asleep.
___
“Time to get up, Dean.” Sam shakes him awake urgently. “Cas just got here…we’re going after Dick Roman now.” He sits up in bed and rubs at his swollen eyes.
“Here, man.” Sam shoves a glass of blood into his hands, and Dean grunts his thanks. He takes a few sips and then Sam is hauling him onto his feet and ushering him into the living room.
“Dean,” Cas nods, holding a steaming cup of coffee. He probably hasn’t slept in days, judging by the black bags under his eyes, but he still radiates an air of complete focus. Dean draws off his energy as much as he can and tries to concentrate.
“You look terrible, Cas,” Jess says, pulling him into a hug.
“Are you kidding me?” His mom reaches forward and cups his cheek. “Nonsense. Handsome as ever.” Dean can see the tears forming in her eyes, and he wants to bolt. “Cas, if we don’t make it through this…”
He starts to turn away, but Sam grips his wrist and holds him there.
“We’ll make it, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas says firmly.
“Castiel, honey, there’s no doubt you’re going to Heaven. But me, Dean, Sam, Jess…it’s Purgatory for us.”
Cas looks at her solemnly. “That may be the case, but I’m not willing to say goodbye. Not yet.”
“He’s right, Mom,” Dean interjects, and Cas looks at him gratefully. “None of this sappy stuff, alright?” He sweeps Castiel into a one-armed hug. When Dean pulls away, his mom is wiping the moisture from her cheeks.
“Mom, Jess, and I are together,” Sam reminds everyone, back to business, and they nod. “Dean and Cas are going after Dick. Any questions?”
“We’re good, Sammy,” Dean answers. “Let’s get going.”
___
When Dean shoves the bone clean through Roman’s neck, the fucker grins knowingly as the room starts pulsing. Dean thinks, oh shit, and then he’s plummeting backwards, screaming into the swirling darkness.
___
Dean Winchester, it sneers, backing away from his machete. I know about you and your family – the famous “Vampire” Vampire Hunters. It laughs tauntingly. But where’s dear old Daddy?
Shut your mouth, Dean snarls.
What if I told you that I saw him? It sneers. Didn’t know that he was rotting in Purgatory, did you? No surprise, considering his demon blood.
Dean’s vision flashes red and he leaps on top of the leviathan, his fangs extending. And then he’s ripping out its throat.
___
He wakes with a mouthful of leaves, and he sputters and gingerly moves his limbs. When he lifts his head, gray light shines straight into his eyes, and he flinches. A few yards away, he spots a khaki trenchcoat, and he stumbles over.
“Dean,” comes the familiar rasp, and he turns Cas over, checking for injuries. He wobbles slightly as Dean helps him stand. “Where are we?”
“I’m not sure.” Dean scans the trees, twisting and gray with their dark, brittle leaves. “But this can’t be good.” The howling wind whips them from all sides, freezing cold.
A rustling, like wings flapping, comes from somewhere behind them, and Dean steps in front of Cas. A creature approaches them serenely, but Dean’s no fool. “What are you?” he demands.
The creature has a short beard and inquisitive blue eyes. It tilts his head and studies them curiously, his face the picture of child-like wonder. He doesn’t seem hostile, but Dean knows better than to let his guard down.
His eyes widen as he notices Cas, and he smiles endearingly. “You’re a human,” he breathes, awestruck. “You’re the one we’ve been waiting for.”
“Don’t take another step,” Dean threatens. “Not until you tell us what you are.”
He shifts his focus to Dean, and his unearthly eyes pierce him like light. “I’m an angel. My name is Benny.”
“Well excuse me, Benny, but Cas and I haven’t had the best experiences with angels, so move along and leave us alone.”
“Dean, wait—”
He turns and glares at Cas. “Are you serious, man?”
“Dean?” Hope creeps into Benny’s voice, and he invades Dean’s space, extending a hand towards his face. Dean flinches backwards and Benny freezes, as if remembering himself.
“Sorry,” he says. “But you look like him.”
“Like who?”
“John.” Benny tilts his head appraisingly. “You must be his son, Dean Winchester. Am I wrong?”
Distantly, he notes Cas grabbing a handful of his coat. He shivers as if he’s been doused with ice water. “Where is he?” he croaks.
Benny points north. “Up the stream a ways.”
Dean’s voice cracks. “Please. You have to…”
“Come on, then.” Benny motions for them to follow.
“Are you so sure about this?” Cas hisses in his ear, but Dean silences him with a look. Cas huffs angrily. “Fine, but if we get ripped to shreds, I hope you know it’s your fault.”
___
Time in Purgatory seems muddled, uncertain. Six hours could be a day for all he knew. With the wind lashing their faces, they trudge uphill through mud, hacking through branches, following Benny deeper into the shadows, ghosting the edges of the winding creek.
Dean keeps a concerned eye on Cas, who can’t escape that he’s only human. After a while, his wheezing won’t let up, so Benny says they’ll take a break. “But not for too long,” he says tightly, scanning their surroundings. “Once everybody hears there’s a human in these parts, we’re going to be fighting off an army.”
Cas collapses on his knees beside the creek, scooping up handfuls of water and slurping desperately.
“So what makes him so special?” Dean asks.
“God made Purgatory as an afterlife for monsters,” Benny explains. “A man, however—Purgatory is gonna want to spit him out.”
“Why?” Cas comes up behind Dean, breathing more easily.
“You don’t belong here,” Benny says, staring him in that unnerving way that freaks Dean out. “And I happen to know where the exit portal might be. You could be the one to open it up and help us escape.”
“How come you’re here?” Cas asks. “You’re an angel, not a monster.”
Benny blinks. “Had a nasty argument with my Father, but that’s a story for another day.” He scans the trees nervously. “We’ve lingered too long. We need to get moving.”
A sharp crack sounds from above and a ball of black goo plummets into the dirt, bubbling into the form of a body.
“Shit!” Dean yelps. “What the hell is that? A T-1000?”
“Leviathan!” Benny shouts.
Two more blobs dive from the treetops and Benny lunges for them. Dean grips Cas’s arm, and that’s when he realizes they’re weaponless. One charges and wrenches open its stinking mouth, jutting out rows of razor-sharp teeth.
“Dean!” a voice booms in his ear. “Get down!”
On instinct, he ducks, yanking Cas down with him, and looks up just in time to see the thing’s head flying off.
Across the clearing, Benny makes quick work of the last one with a violent slash. Dean’s heart thunders in his head and he tries to move, but his limbs have turned to lead. Whoever saved their lives hovers over them silently, but Dean’s frozen. He doesn’t want to look—he can’t.
“Is it really you?” Dad sounds so broken and disbelieving that Dean can’t bear it. His father’s hands dig into his armpits, and he lets himself be pulled up. “Dean?”
He meets his father’s eyes – brown – and he’s a little disheveled and grimy, but he hasn’t changed a day.
“Dad.” His lips tremble, and he wants to hide his face, but John cups his cheek and grins. “It’s okay Dean,” he whispers, pulling his head down into the crook of his neck, the skin there warm. Dean inhales the familiar earth smell of him and trembles. John threads his fingers through his hair, and Dean clings to his strong back. “Daddy’s hear now, it’s okay. Shhhhh…”
Horrible, gurgling noises hit his ears and he realizes that he’s crying. He can’t remember the last time he’s allowed himself more than a few silent tears, but the dam’s broken now, so he clings to his father like he’s drowning and presses his lips to his neck, the skin smooth and hot and alive. And maybe that’s not normal, but they’re in Purgatory and Dad’s here, so what the hell? John’s blood thrums strongly under his mouth, and Dean watches his tears dripping wet into John’s shirt. “Missed you, Dad,” he gasps. John pulls back, holds Dean at arm’s length, and looks him over. “I missed you too, son.”
That’s when they realize Benny and Cas are standing a respectful distance away, trying to give them a moment of privacy. “You two,” John shouts. “I barely got here in time. Let’s go before they catch up again. We’ll talk when we’re far enough away.”
He thumbs Dean’s cheekbones, bumping their foreheads together, and John’s warm breath ghosts over his face. Dean quivers under his hands.
“Let’s go, Dean.” Dean nods, wiping his nose. “Yes, sir.” He hurries off to catch up with Cas. He misses the look of stunned disbelief and satisfaction on his dad’s face.
___
To everyone’s surprise, Cas and Benny hit it off famously, and Dean observes their new bond with interest and a little amusement. Good for you, buddy.
They’ve stopped to rest, and predictably, Benny follows Cas down to the frigid river. The two tiptoe in the rushing current, splashing each other and laughing as the first of the snow begins to fall.
His dad sits down beside him, helping Dean tend to the slash across his shoulder. “How did you and Benny meet?” Dean asks, curious. “I like him. When he’s not being all angelic and serious, that is.”
John laughs. “As soon as I popped up here, I was in deep shit – had no clue where I was or what was happening. Benny happened to be there, and he saved my life. After that, we were friends.” John pulls the cloth tighter around his arm, and Dean winces. “Just the two of us for years.” John sounds wistful. “The brother I never had, you know?”
Dean nods. “I get it, Dad. I’m glad you had somebody through all this.”
“What about the family? Are they okay?”
“Yeah, Dad. They’re fine.” His chest burns with their memory. “Mom and Sam are still alive. Vampires, like me. And Sam, he mated for life. With this vampire named Jess that we met in California a while back.”
John grins. “Good for Sammy.”
He hesitates. “What about Mary? She ever find anybody else?”
Dean shakes his head. “No, Dad. No one after you.”
John’s shoulders slump. “Maybe she should have.”
“Maybe,” Dean agrees. “But nobody exactly lives up to you, do they?”
John smiles, eyes crinkling. “I guess not, son.”
They sit comfortably in silence, watching Cas wring the water out of his trenchcoat.
“Is it true?” Dean asks quietly.
John fidgets. “Is what true?”
“Are you…really a demon?”
John turns his head, his damp bangs falling over his forehead, shielding his eyes. “You never knew,” he says sadly. “How could you? You see, when your mother went into labor with Sam, things weren’t looking so good. I made a deal for her life – and Sam’s, too.
“They both made it through okay. But when that nest of vampires ambushed us, back in Oklahoma, I died of blood loss before they could turn me. So I went to Hell.”
John shudders. “That place, it consumes you. Enough years in the pit and you can’t help but be twisted into something dark and wrong.”
“But you climbed out?”
John nods. “When I got out, the first thing I did was try to figure out what happened to my family. I heard you were vampires, so I went to find you – but another demon got to me first. This girl named Ruby.”
Dean curses, kicking the dirt. “That bitch.”
“Don’t call her that,” John says sternly. A muscle twitches in Dean’s cheek. “What?”
“She must have really loved Sam, like she told me,” John says. “She didn’t want you three finding out what happened to me. Said it would have killed you. I don’t know, I’m thinking she was right.” He pats his chest. “So she drove a jagged knife through my chest…and I woke up here. And this has been my home, for as long as I can remember.”
John arches his neck, breathing deeply, letting the snowflakes gather white in his beard. “What about you, Dean? You ever find anybody?”
Dean feels his cheeks flushing. “No, Sir. Nobody.” He shrugs. “I was too busy taking care of the family to focus on that anyway.”
He starts when John puts a hand at the small of his back. “That was too much responsibility to lay on you. But you did well.” Dean lets himself be pulled against his father’s chest. “I’m proud of you, son.” Dean sucks in a breath and burrows into his dad more deeply, starved for touch. John runs a hand soothingly down his back. “I should have told you that years ago, but I’m telling you now.”
Fumbling for his dad’s collar, Dean curls his fingers into the cloth and pulls himself up, nosing against his father’s cheek, the stubble there softer than he’d imagined.
“Dean, what are you…”
He presses their lips together softly, like a question. John exhales like a punch and kisses back hard, devouring his mouth. Dean groans, reveling in the warm wetness, the smooth glide of their lips, the beard scratching his chin. John tastes like memory, like when they were human, and then their tongues slide together, electric. But then John is easing back, stroking at his chin gently. “Benny and Cas are down there.”
Dean blinks. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Dean.” John’s long eyelashes flutter against his cheek. “But sometimes I wonder when everything got so fucked up.”
Dean strokes his swollen lips reverently. “Fucked up is the Winchester way, sir.”
___
After that, they break away from Cas and Benny whenever they can, hiding behind tree trunks thick enough to hide their frantic movements.
The first time, Dean falls to his knees, unbuckling John’s pants as quickly as he can. “Be quiet, Dad,” he whispers, freeing his cock and tonguing the tip, spreading the moisture across his lips. His dad pistons his hips, thrusting in Dean’s mouth, arching his neck. Dean studies the vein pulsing in John’s throat as he pumps the base of his cock. With a wet pop, he pulls off, panting. “Say it, Dad, please.”
His dad digs a hand into Dean’s dirty hair. “Swallow it all, baby boy. Make your dad proud.” Dean full-body shudders and nearly comes in his pants. “Yes, sir,” he groans. A few more strokes, and John’s shooting into the back of his throat, and Dean swallows every drop.
The next time they have a moment to themselves, Dean’s bleeding from a gash in his stomach. John pulls up his shirt carefully, palming the skin of Dean’s middle. He bends down, kissing into the stream of blood, and Dean’s rock hard in an instant. Lifting John’s face, Dean trembles at the sight of his father’s mouth dripping with red.
“Kiss me, Daddy,” he whispers, and John surges up, biting his lips. “How did we ever get so fucked up, baby?”
Dean works his pants off, dragging John’s head into his lap. “I don’t know, but I want you suck me off.” His dad says nothing, just shivers and swallows him down to the root.
“What are you thinking about, Dad?” John shifts under him, tilts Dean’s chin up and kisses him gently. “Just that I love your freckles.” He runs his fingers over each cheek, and Dean closes his eyes. They’ve been in Purgatory for nearly a year.
“What about you?”
Dean frowns, opening and closing his mouth.
“What is it?”
“I’m not going with them,” Dean says in a rush. “Benny and Cas will be fine. But you – like Benny keeps saying – no demon is going to make it through that portal. So I’m staying here.”
John shakes his head, angry. “No way. You need to go back to your mother and Sam.”
“Dad,” Dean growls. “I’ve been so selfless for so long. Don’t you get it?” His voice cracks. “I’m tired of being strong. I want to stay here with you – that’s all I want. Just you and me, understand? I’m not a dumb kid anymore…I’m a man. I can make up my own mind.”
He shakes his dad’s shoulders. “Don’t you realize you’re all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember? Even before the vampire attack. You stupid old man, don’t you get it?”
And then he’s crying angrily into his dad’s neck, and John doesn’t argue anymore.
“Okay, Dean,” he says quietly. “You and me, in our own world…just the two of us.”
“You serious?” Dean rasps. Teardrops cling to his eyelashes.
“Of course. You’re my sweet boy.” John bends down, pressing his lips against Dean’s forehead. “And nothing’s ever gonna change that.”
Word Count: 3994
Characters: Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Benny, Jessica Moore, Mary Winchester, Dick Roman, Ruby
Pairings: John/Dean, Sam/Jess, Benny/Cas
Tags: NSFW, Incest, Graphic Violence, Sexual Content, Character Death (only minor characters)
“Mister I ain’t a boy, no I’m a man
And I believe in a promised land”
-Bruce Springsteen
“What the hell was that, Dean?”
Sam juts his elbow under Dean’s chin, pinning him against the wall. Dean’s arms hang limply at his sides as he stares blankly past his brother. His head is buzzing and his own voice sounds foreign as he stutters out an answer. “It’s nothing, Sammy.”
“Nothing?” Sam laughs in disbelief, and Dean can see movement and concerned eyes peering down at him, but everything is blurred around the edges and there’s gunk running down his chin. He feels like he’s going to be sick. “Really, Dean? You tore that Leviathan apart like an animal. You went full-on monster just now.”
Sam lets up the pressure on his throat and shoves up Dean’s lip, pulling the second set of teeth down and then curling his fingers into his mouth. Dean coughs and tries to tongue the digits out.
“You didn’t swallow any, did you?” Sam sounds frantic enough that guilt floods through him, hot and unpleasant. “God, Dean. Who knows what ingesting that goo will do to you…”
“I didn’t swallow anything, Sam,” he mumbles, trying to pull away.
“Fine.” Sam yanks his fingers out and glares at him. “But that was stupid. And reckless. I thought after a century you’d learn to be a little smarter, that’s all.”
Dean flashes a grin and shoots out his fangs. He gently taps each one. “Sorry, but you know how it goes, Sammy. A leopard can’t change its spots. A vampire can’t change it’s—”
“Okay, enough.” He can tell Sam’s fighting the urge to smile. “But if you pull anything like that again, jerk, I’ll let Mom have a piece of you, understand?”
He fakes a shudder but then snakes a hand into Sam’s floppy hair. Sam palms Dean’s cheek and he’s sure the fear shining in his brother’s eyes mirrors his own. Are we okay? They ask wordlessly, and they are, they always are. So Dean lets him go and reaches down for his backpack and bleach. They start back for the car, leaping over congealed black puddles.
“You know, Dean,” Sam says tentatively when they’re thirty miles down the road, “I don’t know what that leviathan said to you—but if you need to talk about it…”
Dean shakes his head firmly, his knuckles going white on the steering wheel. “The last thing I need to do is talk about it. Drop it, okay?”
Sam’s eyes burn holes into him, but he says nothing, and Dean is thankful for small mercies. After a while, his brother reaches for the radio, and Dean breathes a little easier.
___
When they pull up the driveway, Sam’s snoring softly against the window, and Dean lets himself study his family’s home for a few moments. In the darkness, it glows an eerie blue. Purple irises curl up underneath the windows, twisted and wind-whipped. As if this could have ever lasted.
Sighing, he pokes at Sam. “We’re here, man.” His brother blinks up at him through his ridiculously long hair and arches his back with a grunt. Dean climbs out of the car and limps up to the porch, where his mom is already waiting.
“Are you okay, honey?” She hugs him tightly, and he lets his muscles loosen as he slumps against her.
“I’m fine,” he says wearily, even though he knows she won’t believe him. He pulls back and lets the exhaustion show on his black-smudged features. “Just need some rest.”
She frowns and cups his chin. He lets himself drink in her bright eyes as comfort seeps into his bones. Sighing, she lets him pass. “Go get some sleep, Dean.”
Jess dashes past him with a brief hello, and he can hear her running across the yard and flying into Sam’s arms. “How did your hunt go?” Sam asks her.
“It was fine– your mom and I decapitated two leviathans, nothing big.” Her voice lowers. “What’s wrong with Dean?”
He hurries back to his room before he can hear Sam’s reply. Collapsing on the edge of his bed, he cradles his head in his hands and studies himself in the mounted mirror. A week’s worth of facial hair, strong jaw, the slope of his nose and shape of his mouth. He knows how much he looks like his father. It’s still unnerving, even after all these years, and he tears his gaze away.
Dean goes straight for his dresser, tugging open the bottom drawer and fumbling for the photo album tucked beneath his jeans. He slumps into his bed and cracks open the cover.
John Winchester smiles up at him and Dean’s heart clenches. What he feels for his father isn’t normal, but it’s only gotten stronger through the years without him. Before his death, they’d danced around each other, the tension unbearable. When John had died, he’d almost felt relief that he didn’t have to face his feelings. How wrong and naïve he’d been.
Shakily, he traces his fingers over the yellowed photograph and tries to remember. But the picture’s details are too grainy, thanks to the ancient camera. It kills him that he can’t even remember the color of Dad’s eyes.
If what the leviathan said was true… Dean closes the book angrily and shoves it under his bed. He can’t do this right now.
From the living room, he can hear Sam’s raised voice. “Are you not listening, Mom? Dean and I just learned where to find Dick Roman. We need to strike now. Let’s call Cas.”
Dean curls up under his mountain of quilts and covers his ears. His knees dig into his chest as he trembles in the dark. It takes him a long time to fall asleep.
___
“Time to get up, Dean.” Sam shakes him awake urgently. “Cas just got here…we’re going after Dick Roman now.” He sits up in bed and rubs at his swollen eyes.
“Here, man.” Sam shoves a glass of blood into his hands, and Dean grunts his thanks. He takes a few sips and then Sam is hauling him onto his feet and ushering him into the living room.
“Dean,” Cas nods, holding a steaming cup of coffee. He probably hasn’t slept in days, judging by the black bags under his eyes, but he still radiates an air of complete focus. Dean draws off his energy as much as he can and tries to concentrate.
“You look terrible, Cas,” Jess says, pulling him into a hug.
“Are you kidding me?” His mom reaches forward and cups his cheek. “Nonsense. Handsome as ever.” Dean can see the tears forming in her eyes, and he wants to bolt. “Cas, if we don’t make it through this…”
He starts to turn away, but Sam grips his wrist and holds him there.
“We’ll make it, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas says firmly.
“Castiel, honey, there’s no doubt you’re going to Heaven. But me, Dean, Sam, Jess…it’s Purgatory for us.”
Cas looks at her solemnly. “That may be the case, but I’m not willing to say goodbye. Not yet.”
“He’s right, Mom,” Dean interjects, and Cas looks at him gratefully. “None of this sappy stuff, alright?” He sweeps Castiel into a one-armed hug. When Dean pulls away, his mom is wiping the moisture from her cheeks.
“Mom, Jess, and I are together,” Sam reminds everyone, back to business, and they nod. “Dean and Cas are going after Dick. Any questions?”
“We’re good, Sammy,” Dean answers. “Let’s get going.”
___
When Dean shoves the bone clean through Roman’s neck, the fucker grins knowingly as the room starts pulsing. Dean thinks, oh shit, and then he’s plummeting backwards, screaming into the swirling darkness.
___
Dean Winchester, it sneers, backing away from his machete. I know about you and your family – the famous “Vampire” Vampire Hunters. It laughs tauntingly. But where’s dear old Daddy?
Shut your mouth, Dean snarls.
What if I told you that I saw him? It sneers. Didn’t know that he was rotting in Purgatory, did you? No surprise, considering his demon blood.
Dean’s vision flashes red and he leaps on top of the leviathan, his fangs extending. And then he’s ripping out its throat.
___
He wakes with a mouthful of leaves, and he sputters and gingerly moves his limbs. When he lifts his head, gray light shines straight into his eyes, and he flinches. A few yards away, he spots a khaki trenchcoat, and he stumbles over.
“Dean,” comes the familiar rasp, and he turns Cas over, checking for injuries. He wobbles slightly as Dean helps him stand. “Where are we?”
“I’m not sure.” Dean scans the trees, twisting and gray with their dark, brittle leaves. “But this can’t be good.” The howling wind whips them from all sides, freezing cold.
A rustling, like wings flapping, comes from somewhere behind them, and Dean steps in front of Cas. A creature approaches them serenely, but Dean’s no fool. “What are you?” he demands.
The creature has a short beard and inquisitive blue eyes. It tilts his head and studies them curiously, his face the picture of child-like wonder. He doesn’t seem hostile, but Dean knows better than to let his guard down.
His eyes widen as he notices Cas, and he smiles endearingly. “You’re a human,” he breathes, awestruck. “You’re the one we’ve been waiting for.”
“Don’t take another step,” Dean threatens. “Not until you tell us what you are.”
He shifts his focus to Dean, and his unearthly eyes pierce him like light. “I’m an angel. My name is Benny.”
“Well excuse me, Benny, but Cas and I haven’t had the best experiences with angels, so move along and leave us alone.”
“Dean, wait—”
He turns and glares at Cas. “Are you serious, man?”
“Dean?” Hope creeps into Benny’s voice, and he invades Dean’s space, extending a hand towards his face. Dean flinches backwards and Benny freezes, as if remembering himself.
“Sorry,” he says. “But you look like him.”
“Like who?”
“John.” Benny tilts his head appraisingly. “You must be his son, Dean Winchester. Am I wrong?”
Distantly, he notes Cas grabbing a handful of his coat. He shivers as if he’s been doused with ice water. “Where is he?” he croaks.
Benny points north. “Up the stream a ways.”
Dean’s voice cracks. “Please. You have to…”
“Come on, then.” Benny motions for them to follow.
“Are you so sure about this?” Cas hisses in his ear, but Dean silences him with a look. Cas huffs angrily. “Fine, but if we get ripped to shreds, I hope you know it’s your fault.”
___
Time in Purgatory seems muddled, uncertain. Six hours could be a day for all he knew. With the wind lashing their faces, they trudge uphill through mud, hacking through branches, following Benny deeper into the shadows, ghosting the edges of the winding creek.
Dean keeps a concerned eye on Cas, who can’t escape that he’s only human. After a while, his wheezing won’t let up, so Benny says they’ll take a break. “But not for too long,” he says tightly, scanning their surroundings. “Once everybody hears there’s a human in these parts, we’re going to be fighting off an army.”
Cas collapses on his knees beside the creek, scooping up handfuls of water and slurping desperately.
“So what makes him so special?” Dean asks.
“God made Purgatory as an afterlife for monsters,” Benny explains. “A man, however—Purgatory is gonna want to spit him out.”
“Why?” Cas comes up behind Dean, breathing more easily.
“You don’t belong here,” Benny says, staring him in that unnerving way that freaks Dean out. “And I happen to know where the exit portal might be. You could be the one to open it up and help us escape.”
“How come you’re here?” Cas asks. “You’re an angel, not a monster.”
Benny blinks. “Had a nasty argument with my Father, but that’s a story for another day.” He scans the trees nervously. “We’ve lingered too long. We need to get moving.”
A sharp crack sounds from above and a ball of black goo plummets into the dirt, bubbling into the form of a body.
“Shit!” Dean yelps. “What the hell is that? A T-1000?”
“Leviathan!” Benny shouts.
Two more blobs dive from the treetops and Benny lunges for them. Dean grips Cas’s arm, and that’s when he realizes they’re weaponless. One charges and wrenches open its stinking mouth, jutting out rows of razor-sharp teeth.
“Dean!” a voice booms in his ear. “Get down!”
On instinct, he ducks, yanking Cas down with him, and looks up just in time to see the thing’s head flying off.
Across the clearing, Benny makes quick work of the last one with a violent slash. Dean’s heart thunders in his head and he tries to move, but his limbs have turned to lead. Whoever saved their lives hovers over them silently, but Dean’s frozen. He doesn’t want to look—he can’t.
“Is it really you?” Dad sounds so broken and disbelieving that Dean can’t bear it. His father’s hands dig into his armpits, and he lets himself be pulled up. “Dean?”
He meets his father’s eyes – brown – and he’s a little disheveled and grimy, but he hasn’t changed a day.
“Dad.” His lips tremble, and he wants to hide his face, but John cups his cheek and grins. “It’s okay Dean,” he whispers, pulling his head down into the crook of his neck, the skin there warm. Dean inhales the familiar earth smell of him and trembles. John threads his fingers through his hair, and Dean clings to his strong back. “Daddy’s hear now, it’s okay. Shhhhh…”
Horrible, gurgling noises hit his ears and he realizes that he’s crying. He can’t remember the last time he’s allowed himself more than a few silent tears, but the dam’s broken now, so he clings to his father like he’s drowning and presses his lips to his neck, the skin smooth and hot and alive. And maybe that’s not normal, but they’re in Purgatory and Dad’s here, so what the hell? John’s blood thrums strongly under his mouth, and Dean watches his tears dripping wet into John’s shirt. “Missed you, Dad,” he gasps. John pulls back, holds Dean at arm’s length, and looks him over. “I missed you too, son.”
That’s when they realize Benny and Cas are standing a respectful distance away, trying to give them a moment of privacy. “You two,” John shouts. “I barely got here in time. Let’s go before they catch up again. We’ll talk when we’re far enough away.”
He thumbs Dean’s cheekbones, bumping their foreheads together, and John’s warm breath ghosts over his face. Dean quivers under his hands.
“Let’s go, Dean.” Dean nods, wiping his nose. “Yes, sir.” He hurries off to catch up with Cas. He misses the look of stunned disbelief and satisfaction on his dad’s face.
___
To everyone’s surprise, Cas and Benny hit it off famously, and Dean observes their new bond with interest and a little amusement. Good for you, buddy.
They’ve stopped to rest, and predictably, Benny follows Cas down to the frigid river. The two tiptoe in the rushing current, splashing each other and laughing as the first of the snow begins to fall.
His dad sits down beside him, helping Dean tend to the slash across his shoulder. “How did you and Benny meet?” Dean asks, curious. “I like him. When he’s not being all angelic and serious, that is.”
John laughs. “As soon as I popped up here, I was in deep shit – had no clue where I was or what was happening. Benny happened to be there, and he saved my life. After that, we were friends.” John pulls the cloth tighter around his arm, and Dean winces. “Just the two of us for years.” John sounds wistful. “The brother I never had, you know?”
Dean nods. “I get it, Dad. I’m glad you had somebody through all this.”
“What about the family? Are they okay?”
“Yeah, Dad. They’re fine.” His chest burns with their memory. “Mom and Sam are still alive. Vampires, like me. And Sam, he mated for life. With this vampire named Jess that we met in California a while back.”
John grins. “Good for Sammy.”
He hesitates. “What about Mary? She ever find anybody else?”
Dean shakes his head. “No, Dad. No one after you.”
John’s shoulders slump. “Maybe she should have.”
“Maybe,” Dean agrees. “But nobody exactly lives up to you, do they?”
John smiles, eyes crinkling. “I guess not, son.”
They sit comfortably in silence, watching Cas wring the water out of his trenchcoat.
“Is it true?” Dean asks quietly.
John fidgets. “Is what true?”
“Are you…really a demon?”
John turns his head, his damp bangs falling over his forehead, shielding his eyes. “You never knew,” he says sadly. “How could you? You see, when your mother went into labor with Sam, things weren’t looking so good. I made a deal for her life – and Sam’s, too.
“They both made it through okay. But when that nest of vampires ambushed us, back in Oklahoma, I died of blood loss before they could turn me. So I went to Hell.”
John shudders. “That place, it consumes you. Enough years in the pit and you can’t help but be twisted into something dark and wrong.”
“But you climbed out?”
John nods. “When I got out, the first thing I did was try to figure out what happened to my family. I heard you were vampires, so I went to find you – but another demon got to me first. This girl named Ruby.”
Dean curses, kicking the dirt. “That bitch.”
“Don’t call her that,” John says sternly. A muscle twitches in Dean’s cheek. “What?”
“She must have really loved Sam, like she told me,” John says. “She didn’t want you three finding out what happened to me. Said it would have killed you. I don’t know, I’m thinking she was right.” He pats his chest. “So she drove a jagged knife through my chest…and I woke up here. And this has been my home, for as long as I can remember.”
John arches his neck, breathing deeply, letting the snowflakes gather white in his beard. “What about you, Dean? You ever find anybody?”
Dean feels his cheeks flushing. “No, Sir. Nobody.” He shrugs. “I was too busy taking care of the family to focus on that anyway.”
He starts when John puts a hand at the small of his back. “That was too much responsibility to lay on you. But you did well.” Dean lets himself be pulled against his father’s chest. “I’m proud of you, son.” Dean sucks in a breath and burrows into his dad more deeply, starved for touch. John runs a hand soothingly down his back. “I should have told you that years ago, but I’m telling you now.”
Fumbling for his dad’s collar, Dean curls his fingers into the cloth and pulls himself up, nosing against his father’s cheek, the stubble there softer than he’d imagined.
“Dean, what are you…”
He presses their lips together softly, like a question. John exhales like a punch and kisses back hard, devouring his mouth. Dean groans, reveling in the warm wetness, the smooth glide of their lips, the beard scratching his chin. John tastes like memory, like when they were human, and then their tongues slide together, electric. But then John is easing back, stroking at his chin gently. “Benny and Cas are down there.”
Dean blinks. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Dean.” John’s long eyelashes flutter against his cheek. “But sometimes I wonder when everything got so fucked up.”
Dean strokes his swollen lips reverently. “Fucked up is the Winchester way, sir.”
___
After that, they break away from Cas and Benny whenever they can, hiding behind tree trunks thick enough to hide their frantic movements.
The first time, Dean falls to his knees, unbuckling John’s pants as quickly as he can. “Be quiet, Dad,” he whispers, freeing his cock and tonguing the tip, spreading the moisture across his lips. His dad pistons his hips, thrusting in Dean’s mouth, arching his neck. Dean studies the vein pulsing in John’s throat as he pumps the base of his cock. With a wet pop, he pulls off, panting. “Say it, Dad, please.”
His dad digs a hand into Dean’s dirty hair. “Swallow it all, baby boy. Make your dad proud.” Dean full-body shudders and nearly comes in his pants. “Yes, sir,” he groans. A few more strokes, and John’s shooting into the back of his throat, and Dean swallows every drop.
The next time they have a moment to themselves, Dean’s bleeding from a gash in his stomach. John pulls up his shirt carefully, palming the skin of Dean’s middle. He bends down, kissing into the stream of blood, and Dean’s rock hard in an instant. Lifting John’s face, Dean trembles at the sight of his father’s mouth dripping with red.
“Kiss me, Daddy,” he whispers, and John surges up, biting his lips. “How did we ever get so fucked up, baby?”
Dean works his pants off, dragging John’s head into his lap. “I don’t know, but I want you suck me off.” His dad says nothing, just shivers and swallows him down to the root.
“What are you thinking about, Dad?” John shifts under him, tilts Dean’s chin up and kisses him gently. “Just that I love your freckles.” He runs his fingers over each cheek, and Dean closes his eyes. They’ve been in Purgatory for nearly a year.
“What about you?”
Dean frowns, opening and closing his mouth.
“What is it?”
“I’m not going with them,” Dean says in a rush. “Benny and Cas will be fine. But you – like Benny keeps saying – no demon is going to make it through that portal. So I’m staying here.”
John shakes his head, angry. “No way. You need to go back to your mother and Sam.”
“Dad,” Dean growls. “I’ve been so selfless for so long. Don’t you get it?” His voice cracks. “I’m tired of being strong. I want to stay here with you – that’s all I want. Just you and me, understand? I’m not a dumb kid anymore…I’m a man. I can make up my own mind.”
He shakes his dad’s shoulders. “Don’t you realize you’re all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember? Even before the vampire attack. You stupid old man, don’t you get it?”
And then he’s crying angrily into his dad’s neck, and John doesn’t argue anymore.
“Okay, Dean,” he says quietly. “You and me, in our own world…just the two of us.”
“You serious?” Dean rasps. Teardrops cling to his eyelashes.
“Of course. You’re my sweet boy.” John bends down, pressing his lips against Dean’s forehead. “And nothing’s ever gonna change that.”
